An outreach project of Three Stone Farm

Communication Strategies

• KEY COMMUNICATION TECHNIQUES

  Listen to Understand:

  • Listen to understand, not to respond or judge. Ask questions and stay curious
  • Being a better listener, especially in heated discussions, is crucial for understanding where differences actually lie
  • Paraphrase what you think they’re saying so accurately that they respond “Exactly.” If they respond: “sort of,” try again.

   

  Respect and Validate:

  • Use language and non-verbal cues that demonstrate attention: eye contact, leaning in, open posture
  • Show respect for them and their views rather than dismissing them. You don’t need to agree or pretend to agree

   

  Finding Common Ground:

  • Try to find some common ground, even if it’s a very small patch of earth
  • Most people actually want the same things: affordable health care, a strong economy, better education, safer neighborhoods

   

  Instead of Debating Opposing Statements:

  • Person A: “Climate change is a hoax”
  • Person B: “Climate change is real”

  Reframe the conversation around the underlying question:

  • “What’s the best way to understand what’s happening with our climate?”

• GUIDANCE FOR CONSPIRACY THEORIES

  Understanding the Psychology:

  • People are attracted to conspiracy theories to satisfy three primary psychological needs: achieving more certainty, feeling in control, and maintaining a positive self and group image.

  • Conspiracy theories often become central to identities, so attacking the theory feels like an attack on their core being

  • When people feel they can meaningfully control their own lives, they’re less likely to see shadowy puppet masters pulling the strings.

   

  Effective Approaches:

  • Most conspiracy theories contain a kernel of truth—acknowledging this creates common ground to build upon.

  • Limit time spent debunking theories directly. Fact-checking rarely moves someone who feels strongly about their beliefs. Instead, ask questions based on verifiable facts to gradually create doubt over time.

  • Use the “sandwich” approach: begin with something you both agree on, gently challenge their view, then end with another point of agreement.

    • Understand and practice your talking points beforehand. Your wording should be concise and feel natural in conversation.

  • Don’t be rigid in your position of knowing the truth. You’re both trying to understand each other, change will come naturally if all parties are open.

• BEFORE YOU SPEAK

  Set Your Intention:

  • Ask yourself: What if your goal was simply to understand, and be understood—not to incite change?
  • Question your motivation: “Is my motivation to understand or to change?” If it’s to understand, try “I value our relationship and am genuinely interested in knowing about…”
  • Prioritize maintaining the relationship above the conversation. if you lose the relationship, you lose the conversation channel

   

  Choose the Right Setting:

  • In group settings, other people jumping in can make otherwise benign discussions feel attacking. Reaching out one-on-one can be more useful
  • Most people react better to discussions in person, but not all. Gauge how the other party is likely to respond, and meet them on their terms if possible.

• THE LARA DISCUSSION METHOD

  The LARA method is a well-known communication technique designed to help people respond empathetically and effectively, particularly in difficult, emotionally charged, or contentious conversations.

  L – Listen

  • Give your full attention to the speaker
  • Avoid interrupting or planning your response while they’re talking
  • Use active listening techniques (eye contact, nodding, leaning in)
  • Listen not just to words, but to emotions and underlying concerns

   

  A – Ask

  Ask open-ended questions like:

  • “What led you to that conclusion?”
  • “What evidence convinced you?”
  • “What might convince you a different explanation is more likely?”
  • Focus on exploring their thought process rather than disagreeing
  • Check for understanding: “Did I understand you correctly?”
  • Gently introduce alternatives: “Have you considered…?”

   

  R – Reflect

  • Reflect their emotions and core values back to them
  • Acknowledge what you’ve heard and find points of connection: “It sounds like you really value…”
  • Validate underlying concerns: “I can see why you’d be concerned about…”
  • Acknowledge legitimate concerns that might underlie their position: “Your skepticism about… is understandable.”

   

  A – Affirm

  • Validate their intelligence and capacity for critical thinking
  • Use phrases like “You clearly care a lot about this”
  • Redirect their critical thinking skills toward comprehensive evaluation of evidence

  Normalize mainstream positions without being dismissive:

  • “Many people who’ve looked into this have found… – what do you think accounts for the difference?”

• WHEN TO STEP BACK

  Recognize Limits:

  • Very few conversations actually change perspectives overnight, the more you push when they are resisting, the more likely they are to dig in
  • Ask what it would take to change their mind, and if they say they will never change, take them at their word, take a break and pick a different topic next time
  • Take a break if the other person is being rude, bringing up your personal identity, or you’re feeling anxious

• WHAT NOT TO DO

  Some Things are Better Left Unsaid:

  • Don’t mock someone for their beliefs – that only shuts down conversation and makes you appear untrustworthy
  • Don’t fall into the lazy trap of exaggerating what they say to make it seem preposterous
  • Don’t say their ideas are “crazy,” “made up,” or “nonsense”
  • Avoid emotive, impulsive responses that involve finger-pointing or contempt

• BUILDING LONG-TERM BRIDGES

  Focus on Relationships:

  • It’s about “coming together to build bridges with family members and loved ones.” Always leave the connection open for future conversations
  • Don’t expect one conversation to change everything. Building trust through multiple conversations over time is more likely
  • Discuss shared experiences to overcome differences. Connect over times and people you both care about

   

  Information Sharing Strategy:

  • Use available verification tools. Don’t rely on one source, read across political sources to diversify knowledge and check the fact-checkers. This cannot be overstated. No matter how accurate you believe yourself to be, there are likely errors, be open to find them
  • Ensure information is accurate before sharing and correct misinformation calmly and empathetically

• RESOURCES

  Stanford LARA Page

  Cornell University LARA Page

  psychologytoday – cultivating constructive dialogue

  How to talk to the conspiracy theorist in your life

  Video: A Neuroscientist Explains What Conspiracy Theories Do To Your Brain

  Video: The Psychology of Conspiracy Theorists

  Video: Conspiracy and Comedy, A Bit of Relief